I am writing this note at the suggestion of Heather. A lot of these things aren’t unique to me, so I won’t claim original thought. But I’m betting a few of my FB friends might read one of my notes who won’t read Frommer’s. A few general points.
1. First, the name of the city is pronounced “Noo Ohr’-luhns” – just like it’s spelled. You can say “New Orleenz” if you’re singing it. Don’t say “N’awlins.” Everyone will think you’re a tool.
2. It’s okay to wear beads on Mardi Gras. In fact, it’s de rigueur. You can also feel free to wear beads gotten at other parades: Easter, St. Patrick’s, New Years. That’s it.
3. You should go to Bourbon Street to see it, but don’t spend too long. You will leave appreciably more stupid. And wear shoes. That’s not a gentle mist that has covered the street.
4. The easiest way to be hip in New Orleans is to be your loosest, most funky self, whoever that is. They will accept anyone – grandmas, hipsters, losers, gang bangers, etc. The easiest way to be cool is to realize you already are. (This is actually true everywhere.)
5. Don’t eat at any restaurant that has another location outside of New Orleans.
6. They like music in New Orleans, especially music from New Orleans. Try to learn something about it before you go. You will have a better time if you know who Louis Armstrong, Professor Longhair and Kermit Ruffins were/are.
7. They also like a lot of non-New Orleans music, like Sam Cooke, Al Green and James Brown.
8. Abita Beer is good, but more people drink Bud Light. Sad, but true. Don’t drink Dixie.
9. Put hot sauce on everything. Crystal is the best.
10. It’s okay to ask the band to play “When the Saints Go Marching In,” but you better tip them. A lot.
11. Always tip the band. They’ll bring a bucket around and sing a special song for you when it’s time to tip the band. The song is called, “Tip the Band.”
12. It helps to know the words to a few songs, and not ones you might guess. “It’s All Over Now,” by Bobby Womack and popularized by the Rolling Stones, is a favorite of everyone’s, as is “I’ll Fly Away.” It helps to learn a few local favorites, especially from the brass bands, like, “I Feel Like Funkin’ It Up” and “Do Watcha Wanna.”
13. “Do Watcha Wanna” is the only rule on Mardi Gras Day.
14. Mardi Gras is Tuesday. While a lot of people call the whole season “Mardi Gras,” most will say “Carnival.”
15. The language that used to be spoken in New Orleans was French. Then it was something called French Creole, which mixes in a little Spanish and some West African languages. This means two things:
a. You can expect to see some signs and menus in French. This should not shock you.
b. The “French” you read will not be recognizable by any native Francophone and trying to use your high school French to figure pronunciation is pretty pointless. “Chartres” is pronounced “Charters.”
16. Musicians in New Orleans don’t think in the same categories as they do in many other places. Asking if a band plays “jazz,” won’t get you a straight answer. Everyone plays jazz, even the country bands. They also play soul, hip-hop, gospel, rock, punk and anything else you might want to hear.
17. People in New Orleans like to party. I’m being serious here. Now, I don’t mean “party” as in get drunk with three people and throw up. I mean, drink, stay out all night and dance with strangers until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. On a Wednesday.
18. Wear a costume on Mardi Gras. Seriously. It is appreciated and you won’t stick out.
19. Go somewhere besides the French Quarter. I mean, go there, too, it’s fun. But catch a street car and go see Rebirth at the Maple Leaf or take the ferry to Algiers.
20. Don’t give money to any white kids with dreadlocks. That’s a $600 banjo that kid is playing. Let him go join Dexy’s Midnight Runners or dip into his trust fund.
21. If someone approaches you and needs “$11 for a hotel for the night,” don’t give it to him. He’s hustling you.
22. If someone offers to guess “where you got your shoes,” he’s hustling you. The answer is, “You got them on your feet.”
23. New Orleans is one of the few places you can order certain cocktails and not get mocked. Pimm’s Cup, Gin Fizz, Sazerac and Rum Punch are all favorites.
24. On the other hand, don’t order a Hurricane or a Hand Grenade if you are over 22.
25. Don’t argue with bartenders. Actually, don’t do this anywhere. If the place doesn’t have Coors Light, it’s not because they don’t carry “good beer.”
26. Do not be alarmed if an insect crosses the bar where you are sitting.
27. In New Orleans, fun trends never go out of style. People in clubs still “put their hands in the air and shake them like they just don’t care,” and you can expect to hear, “The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire!”
28. Not everyone is Cajun in New Orleans. In fact, almost no one is Cajun. Cajuns are from the country.
29. No one wants to hear you opine about Katrina. On the other hand, anyone you meet will be happy to tell their Katrina story.
30. New Orleans-themed attire, especially Saints tees, never goes out of style.
1. First, the name of the city is pronounced “Noo Ohr’-luhns” – just like it’s spelled. You can say “New Orleenz” if you’re singing it. Don’t say “N’awlins.” Everyone will think you’re a tool.
2. It’s okay to wear beads on Mardi Gras. In fact, it’s de rigueur. You can also feel free to wear beads gotten at other parades: Easter, St. Patrick’s, New Years. That’s it.
3. You should go to Bourbon Street to see it, but don’t spend too long. You will leave appreciably more stupid. And wear shoes. That’s not a gentle mist that has covered the street.
4. The easiest way to be hip in New Orleans is to be your loosest, most funky self, whoever that is. They will accept anyone – grandmas, hipsters, losers, gang bangers, etc. The easiest way to be cool is to realize you already are. (This is actually true everywhere.)
5. Don’t eat at any restaurant that has another location outside of New Orleans.
6. They like music in New Orleans, especially music from New Orleans. Try to learn something about it before you go. You will have a better time if you know who Louis Armstrong, Professor Longhair and Kermit Ruffins were/are.
7. They also like a lot of non-New Orleans music, like Sam Cooke, Al Green and James Brown.
8. Abita Beer is good, but more people drink Bud Light. Sad, but true. Don’t drink Dixie.
9. Put hot sauce on everything. Crystal is the best.
10. It’s okay to ask the band to play “When the Saints Go Marching In,” but you better tip them. A lot.
11. Always tip the band. They’ll bring a bucket around and sing a special song for you when it’s time to tip the band. The song is called, “Tip the Band.”
12. It helps to know the words to a few songs, and not ones you might guess. “It’s All Over Now,” by Bobby Womack and popularized by the Rolling Stones, is a favorite of everyone’s, as is “I’ll Fly Away.” It helps to learn a few local favorites, especially from the brass bands, like, “I Feel Like Funkin’ It Up” and “Do Watcha Wanna.”
13. “Do Watcha Wanna” is the only rule on Mardi Gras Day.
14. Mardi Gras is Tuesday. While a lot of people call the whole season “Mardi Gras,” most will say “Carnival.”
15. The language that used to be spoken in New Orleans was French. Then it was something called French Creole, which mixes in a little Spanish and some West African languages. This means two things:
a. You can expect to see some signs and menus in French. This should not shock you.
b. The “French” you read will not be recognizable by any native Francophone and trying to use your high school French to figure pronunciation is pretty pointless. “Chartres” is pronounced “Charters.”
16. Musicians in New Orleans don’t think in the same categories as they do in many other places. Asking if a band plays “jazz,” won’t get you a straight answer. Everyone plays jazz, even the country bands. They also play soul, hip-hop, gospel, rock, punk and anything else you might want to hear.
17. People in New Orleans like to party. I’m being serious here. Now, I don’t mean “party” as in get drunk with three people and throw up. I mean, drink, stay out all night and dance with strangers until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. On a Wednesday.
18. Wear a costume on Mardi Gras. Seriously. It is appreciated and you won’t stick out.
19. Go somewhere besides the French Quarter. I mean, go there, too, it’s fun. But catch a street car and go see Rebirth at the Maple Leaf or take the ferry to Algiers.
20. Don’t give money to any white kids with dreadlocks. That’s a $600 banjo that kid is playing. Let him go join Dexy’s Midnight Runners or dip into his trust fund.
21. If someone approaches you and needs “$11 for a hotel for the night,” don’t give it to him. He’s hustling you.
22. If someone offers to guess “where you got your shoes,” he’s hustling you. The answer is, “You got them on your feet.”
23. New Orleans is one of the few places you can order certain cocktails and not get mocked. Pimm’s Cup, Gin Fizz, Sazerac and Rum Punch are all favorites.
24. On the other hand, don’t order a Hurricane or a Hand Grenade if you are over 22.
25. Don’t argue with bartenders. Actually, don’t do this anywhere. If the place doesn’t have Coors Light, it’s not because they don’t carry “good beer.”
26. Do not be alarmed if an insect crosses the bar where you are sitting.
27. In New Orleans, fun trends never go out of style. People in clubs still “put their hands in the air and shake them like they just don’t care,” and you can expect to hear, “The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire!”
28. Not everyone is Cajun in New Orleans. In fact, almost no one is Cajun. Cajuns are from the country.
29. No one wants to hear you opine about Katrina. On the other hand, anyone you meet will be happy to tell their Katrina story.
30. New Orleans-themed attire, especially Saints tees, never goes out of style.
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