Twenty Books My Twin Sister Should Read

(Written January 4, 2011)
Sarah,
You asked me for a list of books I would recommend to you that “cause [you] to view the world from a different perspective,” my “top twenty or so.” I want you to know that I have taken this responsibility very seriously. Please guard this list carefully. Possession of this list may lead to your moral decline or possibly your excommunication (I’m actually not joking on that one.) You won’t find any Elizabeth George or William P. Young here. There is nothing that ranks as pornographic literature, though some King-James Only proponents might disagree. The list is ranked according firstly to how different the perspective is from your own and secondly how enjoyable and/or informative the book is.
You may want to get a scotch, neat, to drink while you read.

1. Preacher by Garth Ennis. A “graphic novel” (i.e., comic book) that you can buy in nine paperback volumes, Preacher is about a preacher (!) who loses his faith due to being possessed by the offspring of an angel and a demon. To say that most people would consider this comic blasphemous would be an understatement. (Hint: the villain is an omnipotent deity.)
2. Hip: The History by John Leland. I recommend everyone read this book. This book chronicles the concept of hip in the conflict between West Africans and Western Europeans in America, beginning with minstrelsy and ending with trucker caps. By the way, there is another John Leland who authored some minor Calvinistic Baptist works in the 17th century. This one writes for Rolling Stone.
3. Pimp by Iceberg Slim. A memoir that teaches you the best qualities of a “bottom bitch” and why you shouldn’t have sex with your own prostitutes unless they pay you. I bet no one in your church has read this.
4. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess. I’m reading this now. Violent and Pelagian. The book ends more upbeat than the movie.
5. A Confederacy of Dunces by Jonathan Kennedy O’Toole. Set in the French Quarter, so you know I love it. The protagonist is a fat medievalist who lives with his mom and has a faulty pyloric valve. A really good way to learn how weird New Orleans is.
6. Watchmen by Alan Moore. Another comic, this one the great American novel, written by an Englishman. This one flips the concept of heroes on its head, with the good guys committing rape and genocide. I like the ending of the movie better (Craig Calcaterra will probably bash me for that) but the book is great.
7. The Biography of Malcolm X by Alex Haley. Yes, the guy who wrote Roots. Malcolm Little starts out as a hustler in Harlem, then converts to Nation of Islam, then finally to traditional Islam. Another one that’s probably not on your church’s book table.
8. Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. Have you read this? Christians hate it because it uses the word “g**d**” (and yes, it’s spelled with just six letters). (Btw – I edited that to spare your church friends on your FB. I’m that gracious.) You have to read it just because it gets banned so much. Just don’t kill Paul or Ringo.
9. Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist. What’s scarier than vampires? Child vampires – that are Swedish!! This book is great. It’s really about how awful it is to be an adolescent. Just make sure you get the English translation. Unless you speak Swedish.
10. Seymour: An Introduction/Raise High the Roofbeam Carpenters by J.D. Salinger. Another Glass family book (actually two in one).  Family dysfunction that is witty and dark.
11. Miles: An Autobiography by Miles Davis. The first page has the sentence, “Ella Fitzgerald was a m*****f*****.” Do you really need another reason to read this?
12. Chronicles, Volume One by Bob Dylan. This guy has had a really interesting life. When he gets bored with who he is, he just decides he’s someone else. Non-chronological, which is nice.
13. Post Office by Charles Bukowski. The opposite of the Puritan work ethic.
14. Catalog of Cool by Gene Sculatti. Really a catalog. Find out why Hostess cupcakes are cooler than Twinkies.
15. The Joe Pitt series by Charlie Huston. A five-book series. A cross between a horror novel and a noir crime thriller. The coolest vampire.
16. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby. Losers who are obsessed with records. And making lists. Nothing like your twin brother. (The movie is great, too, if you haven’t seen it, though it’s set in Chicago.)
17. A Good and Happy Child by Justin Evans. Set in a fictional Virginia town that closely resembles Lexington, this book is just frightening. Childhood demon possession.
18. Cash: The Autobiography of Johnny Cash by Johnny Cash. I love this book because it says stuff like (paraphrasing from memory), “I’ve been touring for forty years and the only thing that has changed is that forty years ago they didn’t have extra crispy.” And he loves every American president.
19. The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler. My favorite noir. I love Chandler’s prose. A sample: "He was a guy who talked with commas, like a heavy novel. Over the phone anyway."
20. Songbook by Nick Hornby. Nonfiction. I read this in one setting. Basically a list of songs and why he likes them.